Marley and Me.....

So tonight while my hubby played video games I decided to come in the bedroom and watch a movie. I picked Marley and Me because hubby isn't really into it and I'm dying to see it. It's about one of my favorite things...a dog. Should be safe right....OF COURSE NOT !!!! (speaking of which I will later blog on how my life has changed, and it ties in with this )
So for those you haven't seen it I DON"T reccomend it without this reading this first or atleast having some kind hearted soul warn you. I don't know maybe it wouldn't bother others especially if you're warned. For me there was a very specific reason I fell apart.
There is a scene after she finds out she's pregnant they're at the first Dr. appointment and they go to listen for a heart beat. There is not one. She is not quite ten weeks so they decide that it could be to early to hear if the baby is laying wrong. They go straight to ultra sound to confirm how far along she is and nothing. I thought well she lost the baby at ten weeks it's a miscarriage. It's different enough that I'll be fine it won't bother me. The doctor comes in and does the ultra sound again (nurse practitioner the first time.) and HERE is where it got me. The doctor turns to her and says....

" There is no heart beat. I am so sorry. This happens sometimes, we don't know why."

This is EXACTLY what my doctor said to me when I was 36 weeks along and there was no heartbeat. I swear it is like they copied what he said or perhaps there is a "manual" out there on what to say to a patient in this situation and they both quoted it exactly. It was not close or similar it was verbatim what my doctor said every single word and even the tone of voice.
As the words were coming out of his mouth it ceased to be his voice and became my doctors. My eyes closed involuntarily and I could see my doctor and the room we were in just exactly like I was back looking thru my eyes again on that day. I could even smell all the smells in the room. It was like time slowed down too. Not really slow motion just like even though it was only 3 small sentences it took way longer than you would think running thru my brain. And by the time he was finished saying it my eyes fluttered open and I jumped off my bed. I completely lost it. I wanted to pick up and throw the tv. But instead I ran to the shower and had a good melt down. It's actually been awhile since I've done that.
And of course this had to happen on the spring break weekend when we are kid free and supposed to be having "happy" time. Stupid movie.....