6 Months.....

This should have been written on June 16th but I just couldn't do it. It was a very emotional day and it was and has been hard to keep it together. My computer is in the livingroom now and I can't exactly just sit and type and let the tears flow like I used to. I have to be careful my boys are running around.
All I really have to say is 6 months... 6 whole months. It seems like yesterday it seems like an eternity ago.
6 months is my favorite. They smile and interact. You can play with them and they play back. They learn to sit up and wobble like a Weeble. 6 months is a very big deqal in our family. It's your "halfy-birthday" (you're half way to 1) you usually get your first taste of something yummy and sugary and you get a present something to help you learn and grow. Maybe something to help you learn to pull up and stand. I love 6 months !
I hate 6 months. I hate the overwhelming feeling of loss that has crept back in. I hate missing her instead of worrying about her learning to sit up on my hard tile floor. I hate crying instead of scurrying around propping pillows behind her for when she falls. I hate aching to holde her instead of cleaning baby food off me, her, the table, the floor. I actually miss the mess she would have made.
I love 6 months, I hate 6 months. It was yesterday, It was so very long ago....